I learned a lesson I wasn't yet ready to understand when our son was just a year old. We were preparing to walk across a swinging bridge; his father carried the baby, and I followed close behind. Seeing him hesitate, I let out a small laugh. It wasn’t meant to be cruel—I simply didn't understand the source of his nerves.

He turned to me, his voice sharp, and told me that if I thought it was so funny, I should be the one to carry him. I took our son in my arms and stepped onto the planks.

The moment the bridge swayed—just a slight, rhythmic movement—the hand of fear knotted in my gut. I turned back immediately, unable to take another step. I remember his father’s comment about how it didn't feel so "good" once the weight was in my hands.

That realization has never left me. Throughout our marriage, he was the type of person who only felt the weight of a situation if it pressed directly against his own skin. It taught me a hard truth: we cannot truly understand the burden another carries until we are standing in their shoes, feeling the bridge sway beneath us. This is why one lifetime isn’t enough. We must return as different people, in different bodies and different struggles, to finally learn what it feels like to carry the weight ourselves. We must learn not to judge what we have not lived.

We often return to the worst parts of what we leave behind in this world. This “need to learn” brings an entirely new meaning to the legacy we leave behind. I truly do not want others to have to endure what I went through to learn the way of the heart and soul. My experience was horrible. I know I hurt many people. I was also hurt many times. The ones who hurt me the worst were often the ones who said “I love you” and those who called themselves Christians. I hold no ill will toward them at all.

With that being said, there is no easy way to say the rest of this. What—or who—you loathe or hate the most is what you will need to learn more about. To hate someone because of their skin color, religious belief, or who they love is one of the most harmful actions humans engage in and allow. That type of hate will eat you from the inside out. One way to truly understand is that you may need to return in that same skin color, religion, or way of loving. Hate has no place in being human. We must not give it space to exist. Hate so often comes from not understanding.

Sadly, the United States is repeating the cycle of hate over and over again. First, white people came to this country and wiped out an entire civilization. Why was this done? The settlers were greedy, and the Natives who were already here were in the way. Native people lived differently and believed differently, so they were eliminated. Hitler did the same thing, using “religion” as justification for the slaughter of millions of innocent people. Now, the same cycle is happening again—just without complete massacre. Brown-skinned people are being hunted, mistreated, and shipped to places far away. The same types of lies Hitler used are now being used against anyone who isn’t white or “Christian,” with the only exception being those who have millions of dollars.

How many times have men wondered about women? The only way to truly learn what it is like to be female is to return in another life as a woman. This is often why some say they were born in the wrong body. This happens with both men and women. These experiences also give us the opportunity to decide whether we want to live as a woman or a man. In one of my past lives, I lived as a man. I do not remember much about it, but I do know it is not something I wish to experience again. Returning to life on this planet more than once is the only way to find balance. It is truly a heart-and-soul learning experience.

For some, this learning experience may be far more difficult than it ever should have been. If a person has millions or billions of dollars and only wants more, they may return to live a life among the poorest of the poor. For those who control millions and fail to care for those who do the work, I believe the same outcome applies. Lastly, for those who believe it is acceptable to cruelly control every aspect of another person’s life, perhaps they will return to a life in a country like North Korea. In all of these experiences, you may also carry memories of your “best” life with you. Hopefully, this allows you to understand that human life was never meant to be “dog eat dog” or “only the strong survive.”

None of this is meant as any form of punishment. Every one of us is given the experiences we need in order to live within the essence of life: Be kind. Don’t judge. Don’t take more than you need.

Our differences are what make life interesting. If this cycle of hatred continues, it will not end well. A divine power will not destroy us or save us. Humans have the ability to destroy everything and be forced to start all over again. Or—we can choose a different path and learn to care about one another again.

If any of this stirs discomfort, I ask only that you sit with it rather than turn away. Growth rarely happens in comfort. I am not asking for agreement, nor am I claiming certainty—only a willingness to reflect on lives we have not lived and truths we may not yet understand. The world does not need louder voices or hardened beliefs; it needs empathy, courage, and humility. Each of us has the power to choose understanding over fear, compassion over judgment, and kindness over control. That choice, made again and again, is how we change ourselves—and in doing so, begin to heal and change the world.

One very important thing to remember, Yahweh never gives up on his children. We cannot allow each other to give up.

We've Been Here Before

~ Part Two ~